Growth Through Pain - Testimony

About 5 years ago, my beautiful mother went through a rough year, health wise. She was constanly in pain, in surgery after surgery. There were times when she would call me crying and I would feel helpless. It was a tough time and when I think about how she and I got through it all, I can only thank God. It is very possible that my mom would not be still alive today but by the mercy of God she is. It was a hard time in my life, but we made it through.

I remember one particular time, I was going to visit her at the hospital after work. I was feeling very down because of this ongoing situation. I wanted to see my mother's health restored. This had just gone on for too long and there was also a fear in me of my mother not making it. I didn't feel ready for that, eventhough I was married, I felt that I still needed her alot in my life for guidance and advice. She's always the person I turn too. That day, I felt so heartbroken, asking God "why?", I could not bare to see my mom in so much pain and suffering any longer.  I decided to play a CD I had in my car to calm me down the rest of the way to the hospital. I did not want my mother to see me in the state I was. I needed to be strong for her. As the CD played, a song came on that ministered to my heart, oh so dearly (it was God sent, I don't believe in coincidences!). It was a breaking point for me. I had my moment with God that gave me the strength to endure the rest of my mother's sickness. The tears just started to flow and I thanked God for being my strength, my refuge, my hope and my peace (Psalms 37:39 - "He is their strength in the time of trouble"). Although I was still concerned for my mother, I was finally able to leave my burden on God instead of carrying it myself.

Now everytime I hear that song, it takes me back to that moment and time. And I get teary. There are moments you have in the presence of God that impact your life forever. I'm thankful for the moments God has allowed me to pass with him. My moms sickness made me learn to trust him more, it made me grow in faith (as I saw him heal her from Cancer!), it made me mature in him, it made me value the right things in life, the things that are worth it and to enjoy even the smallest moments of life with your loved ones.

From everything we learn and I'm thankful for that. It was a painful time of my life, but now when I look back, I realize all of the great lessons it taught me. I don't think I had ever gotten as close to God as I did, when my mother was sick. I believe that is another reason why I had to go through that time, to learn to get close to Him and stay close to Him for the plans He had in my future, I needed to learn to have that close relationship with him. I needed to stop focussing on the things I was, to focus on Him and His plans for my life. During that time, He wrapped me in his arms and sustained me.

The chorus of that song goes like this (it's in spanish but I translated the chorus).

You are my Refuge, and my Salvation

In you I find, comfort in my pain,

I know that you desire, my time and my life

I give it all to you.

I leave you with this verse, which I truly believe: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

Some Resolutions for 2013

Today I wanted to share some Resolutions that I want to work on this year. This list is not complete. There are many other things that I want to work on but are my secret. ha ha...Oh and these are not listed in order of importance, I'm to lazy to go and put them in that order...lol...

1) I want to perfect my spanish! I want to speak it, write it, read it more often. I don't want to sound like I'm having trouble expressing myself, I want to speak it with confidence.

2) I want to sing a challenging song. There's a song I've been meaning to practice and sing because it scares me! I need that type of challenge to grow as a singer. I don't want to be comferterable.

3) I want to lose at least 20 pounds, I know this is like on everyone's list! lol...But I want to do this to feel and be healthier, to be healthier and more energetic for my daughter. I want to be a fun mom, not a boring, tired mom. I remember my mom being a fun mom. I want to be that for Bre.

4) I want to grow my clothing business in the time that I can. It's hard with a full-time job, ministry duties, and mommy and wifey to do's but with God's help I will grow it, without stressing like I WAS at first. I'm thinking a Modest Consignment/High Quality Thrift Store in my 5 year plan. ; )

5) I want to give more bible studies. Last year was a very busy year with the purchase of the church building and other personal things that happened, so our focus was a bit deviated and I don't feel like I did enough one-on-one of these. I want to share the plan of salvation with many! AND I already have my first one of the year in the works, I shall write about it. :)

6) I want to be a better wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, servant of the Lord, singer, etc. The list could go on. I want to be a better in all aspects. With God's help I can.

7) I want to write another book (write more in general!). I have one in the works but sometimes I lose motivation. I need to get back at it!

8) I want to be disciplined with my time and use it wisely.

9) I want to sleep more. lol...I think I get an average of 5 hour sleep every night. Not good. Need beauty rest!

10) I want to study the scripture more, pray more! Like I said before, sometimes with fulltime responsiblities, the time to do this becomes minimal, when it should be first priority! With this in mind, we started a weekly morning prayer before work at church with a friend and it has blessed me so much. I'm thankful for my friend and friends who push you to be better in your spiritual walk!

11) Less of me and more of Jesus. Any pride please KAPUT in Jesus name. It's all about HIM!

12) I want to learn by memory Chapter 5 of Revelations in english and in spanish. It's my favourite scripture and I have trouble memorizing! I will tackle this.

I think I got a little carried away and this list is too big, so I will stop here. lol...sorry, or maybe not sorry, this is my journal!!

Thanks for reading! Would love to read some of your resolutions. :)

What I'm Thankful For From 2012

I must say I had a great holiday season, spent it with family and church family! It was really one of the greatest new years we've had as a church family. Because we didn't have our own church building (we sold our previous one) we hadn't really had our normal end of year celebrations for 3 winters in a row! We all missed it. We bought our new church building in the summer, so this year we went all out. We had alot of fellowship and alot of fun. You could see the joy in everyone's faces. I'm so thankful for what God has done at our church.

I'm thankful for alot of the things God gave me in 2012, good and bad because from everything we learn and grow. I'm thankful for the simple things (which are not so simple!) like a family to love, a place to live, eyes to see etc. But as I meditate on last years events, one of the major things I'm thankful for is our newly aquired Church building. Now, I know it's just a building, but there are many reasons why I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful for it because 1) working towards the goal, united us as a church more than we could have ever imagined, 2) it increased our faith, because their were things during the process that truthfully only God could have made possible, and really, obtaining a building like we did was only an "in your dreams" type of thing, because of the location itself 3) because it has open doors to do more things for the glory of God and the growth of his church and 4) because the church is in such a strategic area (the area we really desired!) that people have been coming to the church just from seeing our church sign alone.

Truthfully, obtaining this church building was a dream come true for many of our members. And with this new blessing, God has provided us a new vision, new passion, a new love for the growth of his church. I see the brethen working with love and passion and that is truly inspiring to me. Also, seeing my Pastors overjoyed about what God is doing also makes me happy. They have endure alot of heartaches during their years of ministry and I feel like they deserve this blessing so much.

Like I said, I'm thankful for a lot of things, but what we've achieved out of this new church building are memories, experiences and growth with God which I will never forget.

Our lovely church. :)